Battlefield Earth Writer Apologises For The Movie

For anyone who shelled out to see Battlefield Earth, firstly, why? Could you not see that this movie was going to be utter pants?

Secondly, the writer of the movie (if you can call it that) has issued an apology.

J.D. Shapiro has publicly apologized for this cinematic turd after it was named the Worst Movie Of The Decade at this year’s Razzie awards.

The film is based on the Scientology novel of the same name and starred famed ’sci’ supporter John Travolta. Oh and Forrest Whittaker was in it as well.

In the New York Post, Shapiro wrote,

“Let me start by apologizing to anyone who went to see Battlefield Earth.

It wasn’t as I intended — promise. No one sets out to make a train wreck. Actually, comparing it to a train wreck isn’t really fair to train wrecks, because people actually want to watch those.”

We appreciate his honesty. He goes on to blame his willy for causing the whole thing in the first place because he had heard that the LA Scientology centre was ‘a great place to meet women.’ Shapiro wasn’t too bothered by the lack of attractive females as he was more upset by how his original screenplay was butchered.

“My script was very, VERY different from what ended up on the screen. My screenplay was darker, grittier and had a very compelling story with rich characters. What my screenplay didn’t have was slow motion at every turn, Dutch tilts, campy dialogue, aliens in KISS boots, and everyone wearing Bob Marley wigs.”

Ooh er. Shapiro also sent his Razzie acceptance speech to Deadline Hollywood which showed that not everybody’s mother is their biggest fan.

“And my favourite quote of all time: ‘This is the worst f**king piece of sh** movie I’ve ever seen in my entire f**king life.’ That quote was from my mother.”


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